The Most Over-hyped Time of the Year

Just over two weeks till Christmas, and I haven’t trimmed the tree or hung the lights, but I’m getting into the holiday spirit. Next week I’ll have my brand-new dentures—the best Christmas present I could imagine, and I’m grateful to my husband for footing the cost, since our insurance doesn’t cover it. I’m looking forward to spending Christmas with my daughter and her family at their Woodstock home and chowing down on genuine food. Spiral ham would hit the spot, but they’re mostly vegetarian, so instead I’ll cook that next week for my first solid meal We’ve all agreed we don’t need more material goods—we’ve got far too much already—so we’ll save a bunch of money. 

 So I’m feeling cheerful, full of gratitude for my good fortune this holiday season. But there have been past Christmases when I was mired in depression or feeling very “bah humbug” about the holidays. I’m well aware that this season conjures up a wide range of emotions in shades from joy to despair, and that December can be a problematic time for many people, especially those living alone or with emotional, physical or financial problems. Add the devastating toll taken by Covid, the isolation, the losses and the fear that the pandemic may hang on for far longer than anyone imagined, and it’s no wonder that so many people are feeling anxious and depressed. 

I wrote “The Most Over-hyped Time of the Year” a few years ago, and I’ve been reposting it on my website every December since. Last week I had the chutzpah to sing it at a poetry open mic on Zoom, and people loved it. Feel free to print it out and sing it, whether on your own or at your next holiday gathering. Music works wonders—it’s a powerful antidote to the winter blues. Cheers!  

THE MOST OVER-HYPED TIME OF THE YEAR 

It’s the most over-hyped time of the year. 

So you’d better be happy, and best make it snappy 

Or people will jeer.  

It’s the most over-hyped time of the year. 

All your family will want lots of gifts. 

So you’d better go shopping, and don’t dream of stopping 

Or you’ll cause a rift 

If you don’t spring for pricy new gifts. 

(bridge) 

There’ll be parties each night and if you’re not invited, 

Then you can just stay home and mope. 

Drink your brandy-spiked eggnog till you’re in a deep fog. 

You’ll wake up a hung-over dope! 

It’s the season they sing about snow. 

But you can’t shovel white stuff ‘less you’ve got the right stuff. 

Head south now, just go –  

Oops, you can’t, ‘cause you don’t have the dough. 

(bridge) 

Hang those lights, deck those halls. If being cheery seems false, 

Just keep wearing that shit-eating grin.* 

This will pass soon enough, just hang in and stay tough 

Till the January bills trickle in! 

But for now, eat and drink, have no fear. 

Though this season’s depressing, more turkey and dressing 

Will fill you with cheer, 

And you’ll gain ten more pounds for New Year! 

*Substitute “big phony grin” for PG version 

**This song was written by Edward Pola and George Wyle for the Andy Williams TV show and premiered in 1963. It wasn’t an overnight smash, but he sang it every year and it slowly gained popularity. Now, love it or hate it, it ranks among the top ten Christmas songs. Andy Williams died in September, 2012.